How using the right words will change your life
“Don’t do that!”

How often we have said those and similar words to our kids, or worse to someone who may work for us. And how wrong we are: Bob Selden’s new book, “Don’t”, shows us just how much negative words and sentences – even thoughts - influence us and those around us.

"While this is not a new concept his approach to the power of positive speaking is refreshingly modern. “Don’t” is a neat combination of some very astute and highly acclaimed academic studies and a number of workable, easily applicable explanations and exercises. It is fascinating to see how Selden has gone from the simplistic to what is in fact a highly complex subject. Bob Selden says he is not a linguist, but some of his work hinges on linguistics and the effect of words on the psyche of both speaker and listener.

How I wish I’d had something like this book "Don't" by Bob Selden, to help me when I was young and new to leading a team of communicators who all thought they knew more than me. I would have made it compulsory reading for the whole team."

- Pixie Emslie, Fellow - International Association of Business Communicators and author.

Unlock the do in don’t …

Have you ever wondered why some people seem to have all the luck?  Well, “Don’t” by Bob Selden, shows you how words impact those parts of the brain that make you either positive or negative.  People who have a more positive outlook use more positive language.  They see opportunities that others miss – they also generally see how these opportunities can be turned into real advantages.

  • “Don’t” sets out those negative words and phrases to avoid – the ones that create negative thinking in your brain and result in negative behaviour – and then suggests some words and phrases that do just the opposite.  The end result?  You will start to use positive words, which activate the positive parts of your brain which then results in positive behaviour.

  • “Don’t” will also enable you to better manage those difficult conversations that all of us have at some point. Sometimes it’s a conversation we initiate, such as going to a job interview, at other times it’s initiated by someone else, such as when a good friend wants help with a deep problem.
Bob Selden shows how we behave according to the words we use and hear. As an example, recent studies show that when young male drivers hear male-type words such as “tough” and “rough” they automatically increase their speed, yet hearing female-type words such as “pink” and “gentle” leads to a reduction in their speed. Bob poses the question; “Can the words we use in general conversation also impact our relationships?”

Full of practical examples, stories, and “how to’s”, “Don’t” provides some fascinating insights into what makes us who we are. Bob will challenge some of your thinking on what makes some people more successful than others – in business, sport, relationships and life. Is it luck? Upbringing? Opportunity? Training? Or is it perhaps the words we use? Read Bob Selden's book “Don’t” and make the call!

“In this insightful and practical book, Bob Selden guides us to realise the power of our words – and our thoughts – to help us build better relationships with our friends, family and work colleagues. A really important life book and one I wish I had years ago.”

- Andrew O’Keeffe, author of ‘Hardwired Humans’ and ‘The Boss’.

“Bob Selden has given us a gift of unique value: The gift of understanding how the words we choose impact on others - and even on ourselves. Based on his painstaking review of the science, “Don’t” has already changed how I construct my keynote speeches.”

- Jim Lawless, author of “Taming Tigers” and International Keynote Speaker.

Reviews for "Don't: How using the right words will change your life"

See some of the reviews for "Don't: How using the right words will change your life" at:
Amazon (30 reviews averaging 4.7 out of 5)
Goodreads (18 reviews 26 ratings averaging 4.4 out of 5)


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